OK, starting again. Last time? doubt it. This is just a little note to say I'm fat , I'm back , and I'm working with some good friends to change things. 18K miles to be completed between a handful of us - that *is* quite a challenge. I'll try to be better about updating this time around. I'll go into more detail later tonight.
Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I actually did very well with my diet yesterday. I had psyched myself up that morning to cheat. I was going to a social gathering after work and fully expected to partake of the chips and drink of the sweet hoppy nectars. It is also Sabrett day on Fridays. The ever reliable sausage and hotdog man dutifully manned his yellow and blue post fully stocked in fragrantly spiced meats and toppings. He may be the most reliable man to ever grace my life, and so conveniently placed on my normal trek to my favourite outdoor lunch spot.
Depending on how you look at it , the universe was for and against me at the same time. As I passed the cash only food stand , I realized that the only form of payment in my purse was my check card. Thwarted! Probably for the best. Although one of my good friends offered to forward me the money, by that point I had psyched myself out of it. For the remainder of the journey towards the originally planned lunch ( a hard boiled egg, package of crackers, cup of grapes and cheese squares ), I struggled with a question that seems to pop into my head all too often. Why is food always such a struggle? Does everyone have this problem?
For the second day in a row I managed to avoid all of the work provided sweets and treats. Sticking to water and a single breakfast of packaged crunchy granola bars. Whenever I wanted to pick up a bag of chips, I just reminded myself that I would be stuffing my face that evening with my friends. I grabbed a cob salad on the way to the party that night, planning to pick up a 6-pack for the BYOB event and some snacks as I left town.
I stopped at the most convenient convenience store I could find and felt a wave of disappointment when I realized that their adult drink section was entirely comprised of bud and miller products. Beer snob that I am, I just gave up at this point. Annoyed at life I grabbed 2 cans of 16oz sugar free red bull ( 20 cal. a piece ) and skipped the snack section all together.
The day ended well. I was newly resolved to behave when I arrived at the party knowing that I had low calorie beverage options in tow. I stayed away from the snack bowls, drank my red bull , teased my friends and had a great time. Even though things seemed to be working against me, I suppose it's all in how you look at it. Another semi-triumphant day ( I say semi since I managed to avoid all possible exercise ) Looking forward to the rest of today, hoping to avoid temptations again.
All in all not a bad day. I'd probably give myself about a C+ for the effort. I failed at exercise, but did very well with my diet. I didn't stick to my plan that I outlined yesterday , but it was an unusual circumstance. Team Lunch... I still did very well if I do say so myself.
I'm trying to identify where in my life the disconnect is , that point in my day where I always give up or lose my resolve. Let me outline a typical weekday for you...
Good Morning Ritual:
I am hoping to incorporate my morning run here. I failed this morning, but I'm going to have to keep waking up a little earlier every day till I accomplish this. I don't believe it's an aversion to running , as much as an aversion to crawling out of my nice warm comfy restful bed. At some point I finally wake up and brew a pot of coffee, pick up the morning papers ( NY Times and News and Observer ) and take the dog out to pee. Depending on how late I get up I make breakfast and sit on the porch with my best girl to drink as much coffee as we can while we do the morning crossword puzzle and catch up on the news. The rush off to work...
The Problem:
I have determined that the worst thing for a diet and exercise plan is work. How in the world do full time employees of any company manage to stay in shape? From the moment I walk into the office till I leave at the end of the day it's a constant assault of temptations. The stress of the office has me craving comfort food the entire time, then I get home exhausted and unwilling to make myself do anything. The only thing I feel like doing at this point is drooling.
My company is great for providing little calorie intensive perks at every corner. In the mornings you walk in to a full spread of either donuts of every shape and flavour or big fluffy bagels with tubs of a variety of cream cheeses strewn about the break room. I used to think this was great! ... about 30 lbs ago anyway. Our diligent facilities staff keeps bread-racks and baskets fully stocked on every floor with miniature candy , single serve bags of chips , popcorn, cookies , snacks et al. The double wide soda fridge is always stocked in soda and canned juice ( to be fair , they also keep water in there ). What's a girl to do after another frustrating meeting when it's so easy to just pick up a handful of tasty treats? I end up snacking all day.
The final point i'm going to make on the correlation between work and fat ... Friends and Lunch! In the middle of the day I just want to get the hell out of dodge. Leave the office , relax , not think about anything important , and stuff my face with pub food and beer in the company of good friends. It's not always pub food and beer , but it's very rarely a healthy option.
The Aftermath:
I finally get to go home. It's time to pick up groceries for dinner , cook , eat and clean up. I can normally get through this portion fairly well without loosing steam. I enjoy cooking , I love feeding my family and of course I love to enjoy a tasty hot home cooked meal. It's easy enough to clean up the mess after and take the dog out to do his business, but then I'M DONE. I'm absolutely useless at this point in the day and likely very poor company to everyone around me. There is no chance of me struggling with my workout clothes and convincing myself that a nice jog would do me good. I break out my laptop , lay on the bed , digest and go to sleep.
And so I sit here and wonder , am I really strong enough to make this happen. Am I even capable of losing 45 lbs while I'm still engaged in the daily grind. I'm hoping with little changes here and there it's possible. That's what I'm banking on. Finally my summary report for the day:
Breakfast: Black coffee and a nutrition bar.
Lunch: Miso Soup , Ginger salad and a modified tuna roll
Dinner: Sushi rice with vegetable stew over top
Drinks besides black coffee and water: 1 glass of gatorade
No weight update today ( hoping to keep that at once a week so I don't obsess ).
Mood: Moderate to slightly downtrodden.
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